Thursday, April 29, 2010

Phil's music contest (the "weemix")

So you remember about a month ago how Phil entered a contest and we were asking everyone to vote? Well....... I still don't have the answer as to whether he won or not. Neither of us are really even thinking he will at all and we don't really care either way, but I just have to tell you how ridiculous them announcing the winners has been! I can't even tell you for sure how many times they have changed the dates of when they're going to announce it! The original plan was to announce it on April 12th....then it was the 14th...then it was....I don't even remember, but every time it's supposed to be the day they announce it it jumps up a day or three or four. Today it was supposed to be announced at it's May 3rd...who wants to make a bet that when May 3rd rolls around, the date will be May 5th? It has seriously been so ridiculous I can't even tell you! I guess they just really can't make up their minds. The coolest part is that they have actually listened to Phil's music which is pretty sweet if you ask me. I think that they have changed it at least 7 times...maybe more. They should just stop moving it up a few days and just move it up 3 weeks cause I'm sure they'd have it picked out by then! My goodness! It's just kind of annoying because I want it to be over! Oh well. So that's why you haven't heard if he got any special prizes or not.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A Few Things I Love!

I always get in a REALLY REALLY good mood when I have a raging headache and I take medicine and it completely disappears! So I wanted to write a list of things I just love because I'm in a good mood and maybe when I'm in a bad mood, I can look at this and get cheered up (like when I'm doing all my last minute homework and tests....semester are you over yet??)

So here are some things I love:

1. Lortab. It is the cause of my headache disappearing act! It is safe to take while pregnant while ibuprofen is not and nothing, I mean nothing, takes away my headache aside from ibuprofen and lortab! And no I am definitely not addicted to it, I've had this same bottle of it for over a year and I even had a refill that I never refilled (I wish I would have now because once I run out, I'll have to have another gallbladder attack or something in order to get more....hmmm....hopefully I don't get more headaches than I have pills this pregnancy!!)

2. Having those precious moments with Nate. Just a few minutes ago the other inspiration for this post happened. I made some corn on the cob because I bought some and I didn't want it to go to waste. I had three of them so I had two and I gave one to Nate. It was so much fun sitting next to my sweet little buddy eating corn together. He loved it too! See I took a picture!
Oh yeah, I thought it would be funny to put his hair in a pony! It was. This was just a very precious moment because we sat there and I kept going "mmmm" and he'd do it too! He ate his whole cob too! I was pretty impressed! It's so wonderful to know that this little person loves you more than he loves any other person! Knowing that you are this little piece of perfection's favorite person! It's a good feeling!

3. Quitting a job that you never really liked that much. When I look at the big picture, I loved what I did. I love working with moms and babies. That's why I wanted to be a doula is because I love birth. I also loved some of  the awesome people I worked with! However, the fact is that I worked with over a hundred WOMEN! Drama is bound to occur. That's also 100+ opinions of what is right and what should be considered right when in reality, most of it is so small and insignificant that you don't really need to make that big of a deal out of it. Plus, I think the biggest thing that made me hate working there was that over a year ago I was written up for something really stupid and insignificant that was completely blown out of proportion. The problem was that for an entire year I thought that it was a different nurse that was responsible for writing me up, but I finally found out that it was a nurse that complained about EVERYTHING! And my favorite part is that she was seriously guilty of half of the things she complained about! Every other word that came out of her mouth was "I'm gonna go talk to Donna about it" or "I'm gonna write her up!" Soooo needless to say, I was not worried about it anymore. But for a year I had a really crappy self esteem. I did not feel welcome there and it was very uncomfortable. Moral of the story: If you're a boss, the best way to get your employees to do well is to praise them. It's pretty sad when the very few interactions you've had with your boss are negative ones. The other thing that makes me incredibly happy to quit (I know I've posted about this before, but I really just can't emphasize how happy I am to quit) is that IHC's policies are severely ridiculous. We're supposed to read them and do all this ridiculous you think I ever paid attention to it? Nope. I also do not agree with the majority of the stuff that goes on there....hence the home birth! I could spend all day talking about it, but I won't. I think my next post will be "the ideal hospital" so everyone can understand what it would take for me to deliver there (unless I have complications of course).

4. Having the entire weekend to ourselves. Ok so yes it makes me extremely nervous every time Nate goes to Granny's house for the weekend. Mostly because she is 4 hours away, but there are a few other things. I know he has a good time, but I can't monitor what she is feeding him or if she gives him medicine. I just have to trust her because I know she would never do anything to purposely make me angry...everything she does is in the best interest of Nate (in her eyes), but I sometimes question why she wants to take him for the weekend without us. I'm sure it is not to do weird things to him or anything. I'm sure it is because she just wants to spend some alone time with him and have someone to take care of, but there is always that tiny part of me that wonders. I think it is also because she doesn't have to worry about anything I will say! Haha seriously! I really try to bite my tongue when she's around, but she seriously worries about the weirdest things and I'm always just like "why??" haha! I need to work hard on smiling and nodding. It doesn't matter. We just kind of have a little control battle with Nate. She wants to have more control over his life, but knows she can't. My mom says it's really hard to be a grandma in that aspect because you want the best for them, but you have no control over it. I need to work really hard on giving her the benefit of the doubt, I just wish she would work on coming to terms with the fact that she will never have control over any aspect of his life other than the fun parts.
That being said, I'm excited to have a weekend alone with Phil! I can get some serious housework done while he's at work on Friday and we can do whatever we want that night! I have a dance competition on Saturday (which is Phil's birthday) and we're going on a double date with our friends that night! This is a great Phil's birthday/anniversary gifrt for us!

5. When Nate does dancey dances or sings songs from Yo Gabba Gabba. He's has an incredible memory. I will usually just turn it on in the mornings when we're just hanging out together and we'll watch it and do the dancey dances together and sing the songs and he knows them and does them when we're not watching it all the time. It's so adorable! One of my favorite things he does is tries to beat box! He'll move his arms up and down to the beat that he's's so cute!!!! He also really likes the "don't bite your friends" song. He'll always go "bite bite bite?" and I have to say "no no no" then he says "chomp chomp chomp" and I say "yes yes yes" (in the song, chomping means eating food) It's cute though because it sounds more like "ta ta tomp?" cause he says it so fast! It's SO CUTE!!!

6. Hearing my baby's heart beat and feeling him/her move! Today I went into the storage room in the nursery with the doppler and heard his/her little heartbeat again today! I just love it! So this time I got my phone ready and recorded it! I texted it to Phil, his dad, and my mom. Phil's response was so cute! He texted back "I can't stop listening!"

7. My new AMAZING BOOK that I keep talking about (Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood). I haven't gotten upset or angry at Nate in several days. That's a good feeling let me just tell ya!

8. Phil's new glasses.With his hair cut the way it is and those glasses.......daaaang that's all I have to say! :D Not to mention the it! He finally looks more like the musician he is! haha people always think he doesn't look like a musician! It makes me laugh! Oddly enough, he was working on music when I took this picture.

9. When Nate tries to count to 20. It's so funny! He goes "eleven...twelve...eighteen...nineteen...twenty!!" haha!

10. Having my phone back! I was super sick of using my old phone!

I'm sure I will think of more and add them!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Life is SO good!

Spring is just the best season. I think I love it so much because it is the hope of a better life that the summer brings. It's the stepping stone into the happiest season and that's why spring is the best season, just because of what it stands for! New life and hope!

This spring has brought me so much hope. More hope that I can imagine and I am just overwhelmed with it! Have you ever just been so low in life that you just literally hit ROCK bottom? That is literally how I was feeling (see last post). This new parenting book was God's precious gift to me. I really feel that it was. I am extremely less stressed out about parenting. I know exactly what to do and have complete faith that it will produce the results I need.

I've also gotten my house pretty clean which naturally makes me super happy! It's not perfect, but it's to the point where it's easy to clean every day! This way I feel like I can do more fun things with Nate rather then stress about how clean the house is!

The semester is almost over! I can smell it! And as soon as it is life will feel SO good!

My last day at IMC is Wednesday! I'm really going to miss the awesome people, but the most important ones are on Facebook. I'm really nervous about starting my new job because the only time I will be seeing Phil will be from midnight to 8 am Monday through Friday, but we will have ALL of our weekends together! I'm also nervous I won't like it....we'll just have to see I guess! If I don't, then I'll just sit it out till I can go to part time and I'll get a different job perhaps, or just be a doula. :D

I can also feel the baby move! I could feel it move around 11 weeks actually, but it is super super light. At 11 weeks I could only feel it when my bladder was full. Now I will feel random flutters. I started feeling Nate around 14 weeks as well. I remember the first time it was when I first woke up and my bladder was full so it was pushing my uterus up and it felt like butterflies were inside of me it was so weird! I remember thinking "oh my gosh this is so weird I don't know how I'm going to stand feeling a baby move in me for 6 more months!" But of course, it's a lot different when they get bigger! I had a dream last night that it was a girl. Haha I don't think it's a premonition of any kind, I think I just dreamed it because I would be so blown away if it was a girl, I remember thinking "NO WAY! I can't believe it's a girl!" haha! It was a weird dream though "she" had come out of the uterus and was floating freely throughout my was weird! Then "she" came out and I was trying to put her back! It was a little freaky.

Anyway, life is good! I have a lot of hope for the future!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

My life as a mom has changed FOREVER!!!!!

EVERYONE that is a parent of small children MUST read this book: Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. OH MY GOSH!!! BEST BOOK EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I really truly canNOT emphasize this enough! It should be required that every parent read this book! And from now on, this will be my baby shower gift to everyone! I wish so bad I had this two years ago, but at the same time, this came to me RIGHT when I needed it the most!

You can see how burnt out I have been with parenting! Terrible twos have been really hard for me to handle. The other night Nate wouldn't go back to bed, I got three hours of sleep because he was up and crying and whining and nothing Phil would do would make him stop. He finally threw a phone RIGHT at my face (something he has done SO many times) and it hurt SO bad I started bawling and I just lost it! I was crying because it hurt, because I felt out of control as a parent, because I didn't know what to do to make him not act up like this, because he wasn't the sweet little newborn who was so easy to take care of anymore...I needed a huge break from him! I was seriously at the end of my rope and I felt like I was the worst mother in the whole world!

Then today at work I started to read more of this book that I hadn't really had time to read yet (which I will MAKE time to finish because it is THAT important) and I feel so much hope! I've already tried some of the techniques and been surprised just today!

I was really starting to regret getting pregnant (just listen) I was worried about how I would handle two babies, how I would keep Nate from getting out of hand, and how to take care of TWO....not one, but two little lives 24-7! I was really starting to freak out. I never really worried that much with Nate. I was excited and not one bit scared, Phil on the other hand was extremely nervous. This time the roles had reversed! I could not figure out how I was going to pull this off! I now feel absolutely 100% calm! I KNOW how to handle Nate now! And it's going to be a blast!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Terrible Twos??

I realized today that, although I get frustrated with Nate in his new stubborn stage, the true fact of the matter is that I'm really just stressed out with life in general. I just cannot wait for school to get out because it is taking up a lot of my time and energy. When you already feel stressed about something, it is easy to get more frustrated than usual at your child who is acting out!

I'm seriously going to have to say though that if one more person tells me that 3 is worse than 2 I am going to go crazy! For several reasons: 1. Its condescending to say that. Obviously, if I'm frustrated with 2, ALL I really want to hear is that it just gets worse!!! 2. I've been reading a disciplining book based on Love and Logic (thanks Erika!) which I highly recommend to ANYONE who wants to be a loving parent and discipline their kids in a constructive way! All of the things I am reading I totally believe will work better once Nate is a little older. For example, giving him a choice such as "do you want to go to bed now? or in 5 minutes?" would make no sense to Nate right now. He also has no concept of why he can't have certain things or what it means when I say "you can't have any bananas because we don't have any bananas." However, my three year old nephew does have ALL of those understandings.
I haven't read a lot of the book yet, but I'm sure there will be things in there that will make raising a 2 year old easier too, but for now, I'm having a little bit of a hard time transitioning into this new stage he has. And the fact that I'm stressed out about school is obviously making it worse! After May 4th I will be a very happy woman! Plus I am going to have 2 weeks off from work too while I transition between jobs so I will be able to get everything organized and ready for this new adventure! I've already gotten our apartment pretty clean which made things a lot less stressful and I know that once I get it completely organized and just the way I want it that life will be a LOT easier and I will be able to focus on just having fun with Nate! But when I have to do homework instead of clean, it gets me frustrated!

So there you have it! I'm looking forward to the end of the semester and I'm sorry for all of my frustrations about Nate. I really do love him more than you could ever imagine! :D

My Best Friend!

I feel like the luckiest person in the world because I have the privilege to have that one best friend that you know cares about you as much as you care about them! Someone that you know you can call any time and they won't get annoyed, they'll always be happy to talk to you. Someone who when you say "let's get together" they actually follow through! Someone who you know will do anything for you just like you would do absolutely ANYTHING for them! And someone who calls you first sometimes instead of always being the one to call them first.

A trend I have noticed when you get married is that you just forget about all of your friends because you're too caught up in your husband or wife and yours or their family. Of course they should always come first, but sometimes you need a friend that isn't your husband. Phil is by far my very best friend and my mom is in second place of course. As well as my sister and my niece! But I'm SO grateful to have a friend outside of them that I can talk to about anything and that will talk to me about anything! I can even tell her gross things that I wouldn't tell anyone else! (not that I have a lot of gross things to say).

This best friend that I speak of is the one and only Cynda.

I met Cynda 4 1/2 years ago in college. She was one of the girls from "Suite 16" and I was living in apartment 17. I hung out at their house all of the time. One day she came up to me in church and hit my butt with her scriptures and said "you've been scriptured!" and it was love from that moment on! hahahaha! Seriously, we've been there for each other in hard times and happy times. We both knew each other before we met our husbands and we love each other more than we love them I think! :D

I superly encouraged her to marry her husband Kualii (koo-a-lee-ee) because his last name is Min...and she did. So her name is Cynda Min. Pretty awesome! And that cute little baby she's holding is her son KJ (Kualii Junior....he's not really a junior because he doesn't have the same middle name, but that's just what we call him). He is turning one on Saturday! Here's a more recent picture:

So dang cute! Yes he is part Hawaiian! :D So adorable!

Anyway so I'm grateful to have such a faithful friend. I would say that my friend Heather Powell is also just as faithful too! And I'm super grateful for her too!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My Dad.

I just think my dad is really cool. I was driving the other day and wanted to do a post about how cool he is.

 (It's weird, that lady on the bus poster thing looks like she's laying her head on his shoulder!)

I was actually driving on Bangerter HWY and that's what made me think of him. I don't know if anyone is familiar at all with driving past the SLCC Jordan Campus, but there is a new big and bright video sign. One day I drove past it and was watching the video that was playing on it and thought, "that looks an awful lot like my dad's style of video." I was actually headed to their house so as soon as I got there I asked him if he made the video and I was right! I jokingly told him to put me in it, but I know he doesn't really have a picture of me that would be the right style for the video, but I know he would if he did. He's so funny!

When people ask me what he does for a living I say, "Good question. He makes video for SLCC." I've asked him a dozen times and I still don't really understand all that he does. He shoots a lot of video, he takes pictures, he makes videos, etc. Sometimes he even makes videos for companies outside of SLCC. But all in all he's a pretty amazing videographer. I would have to say that the biggest benefit to being the youngest in the family is that my wedding video was the best. Because, he didn't start out as a videographer! He learned the trade over the years and actually teaches one class at SLCC about it. So he made his first wedding video for my brother and nine years later, he learned a lot more and I got a wedding documentary as we jokingly call it for mine!

He's not a trained photographer and doesn't know all the hip new poses or styles, but he took all my wedding pictures and family pictures and I think he does a fabulous job! :D

June 2009
Nate at 1 year

Christmas 09

October 08. What a funny smile!

Nate was 3 months here

Me and Jordyn in Central Park

Actual wedding day

And just a few more samples. He took these on a tour of NYC that we had and I just love them!

Anyway aside from his video and photography skills, he's just a good dad to have. Phil reminds me often that my parents are the only parents he has in the church so I am grateful that they are such a good influence on him!

I have seen a change in him already since he has become bishop. He's become more humble and honestly doesn't seem to get annoyed with us kids as easily. It was cute, on Sunday when I was feeling really sick I was tired of being at my house all day so I called and he was alone because my mom went to visit her parents right after church and asked if I could come over and he seemed so enthusiastic!

I also had a really funny dream last night that we were driving on 90th south by their house (between Redwood and 22) and he was being impatient, but not really acting like it and he passed the lady (who wasn't really going that slow) by going in between the sidewalk and the white line. It was so casual. Then a cop started pulling him over and he acted surprise and couldn't figure out why he would. So he pulled up onto the sidewalk...which I thought was weird, but didn't question it. I remember when he was surprised, I was like "well dad you did just pass a lady illegally".
That dream just made me laugh because if you ever drive with my dad, you'll understand why I would have that dream! His ONE indulgance in life is to buy BMW's. My parents are extremely conservative. They save every penny and don't buy expensive toys and their house was seriously only $175,000 when they bought it (yeah ok so it was what? 13 years ago? Their house payment is still low!) So a lot of people think they're trying to be rich and gaudy and they tease him about it, but they're really not irresponsible with their money. So my point is that he loves to drive it like it is the sports car that it is. And he often has my mom and I covering our face and clenching the handles! Phil loves it naturally. He's so funny!

The other thing I love about him is that, first of all, he's on facebook, and second of all, he is friends with a whole bunch of people my age. He was called to be in the singles ward. He gets along really well with the a very very non creepy way!!!!! A lot of my friends who know him love him. It makes me feel special to tell people I'm his daughter! :D

I love my dad! He's gonna make the best bishop ever!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Fine line

I realize that a reason why I don't like talking very much on my views about birth is because it is so easy to make mommies feel guilty. No one should have to feel guilty about the way they gave birth and no one should have to feel like they made the wrong choice. Everyone should feel like the birth of their babies was the absolute most beautiful experience they have ever experienced.

The problem that I have is not with mommies making the wrong choices when it comes to their births, it is the doctors, our culture, and nurses who misinform them! I understand if it is hard to accept any birthing practices that you are not used to because you don't want to feel like you have to make a decision that is hard for you to make and you don't want to face that the decision you made is the wrong one. Because guess what, if you had a beautiful experience, it was the right decision for you.

You all are very supportive of my decision to have a home birth, so I'm not necessarily talking to you. But I still want you to understand my point of view. But what I find interesting is that things go wrong in the hospital AND at home or in a birthing center. The difference is that in general, we tend to think that if something goes wrong in the hospital, it would have gone wrong anyway and thank goodness you were where you could be saved. However, the truth is that a lot of what goes wrong in the hospital is caused by something that they encouraged or told you you had to do. Another difference is that if something goes wrong at a home birth or birthing center birth, it would have gone wrong anyway. So people get more scared of it. Does that make sense?

My birth experience with Nate was the absolute best experience I have ever had. And I had an epidural at a hospital. I think that the reason it felt like that for me is that that hospital felt like a home to me. It was a very personal experience because I was familiar with everyone there. I felt like they wouldn't try to do something I was against because they knew me. Of course they did encourage the epidural, but I don't blame them for that. It's what they know and what they are comfortable with. When I started to work at IMC it felt so wrong how impersonal birth was. It is too big to get to know everyone, it isn't the family that Dixie was. Of course there are people that I work with that do feel like the family I had at Dixie, but it's just not quite the same. Birth felt commercialized there like it was a business and all that mattered is that we got patients in and out so we could make more money. I've never felt right about that.

I may have mentioned this before, but the thing I look forward to the very most is just being able to do what I want without having nurses or doctors criticize me. I see patients with "weird" things in their birth plan like to let the cord finish pulsing before cutting it, or to not give the baby a bath for a few hours after birth. And the nurses criticize them behind their backs. I don't want to be criticized. I don't want to have to worry about them following my birth plan. I don't want my baby to be separated from me at ALL until he/she has breast fed, and I think it would be the coolest thing in the world to give my baby his/her first bath by sitting in the bath with them gently washing them off skin to skin. I want the very best for my baby and how I decide that is, I don't want to be judged for it. I absolutely LOVE that my midwife is my close friend where I can just tell her what I want and I don't have to write a birth plan! She doesn't care what I decide to do, she just wants me to be comfortable! And the best part is that I will be!

Anyway ramble ramble, I like to talk about this stuff, but I have to go to an eye doctor appointment! :D

The best tree ever

As promised, here is the series of pictures of that tree in front of our apartment. I can't wait till summer so I can get a picture of it in all four seasons! Thank you tree for being so awesome and shining bright so my house can have a cool new decoration!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I love Spring!!!!

Spring is by far my favorite season EVER! It's not too hot, it's not too cold, the only downside is that the pool isn't open yet! But I still love this season more than ever! And this is one reason why:

This tree is right in front of our deck and I just love it so much! It is absolutely perfect in every season! I'll post pictures from every season that I have it in when I get on the big computer, but just know that I am very pleased that it sprouted blossoms! Why? because I got an amazing picture of it with bright orange and yellow leaves, another great picture with snow on it, and I was hoping so bad that it would have blossoms and then I could also take a picture of it in the summer and have all of the seasons vividly appear on one tree! Needless to say I was one happy girl! I'm going to put all four pictures together, print it out and hang it up! I'm excited!

Anyway, I also wanted to talk about something else. I was talking to two moms who both had boys that are right around Nate's age last night and Nate was "more advanced" than both of them (hear me out). He knows all his ABC's and his 123's by sight, he can count to ten in English and Spanish, he talked really early etc. And I was telling them and I was also talking to my mom about this too and I wanted to tell everyone else, I do not thing my child is a genius child! I honestly think that I could teach a child the exact same way and the exact same things as I have taught Nate and he would learn completely different things. I just think that Nate is JUST as smart as the other two boys, the ONLY difference is that Nate is more vocal. Nate is seriously just a more talkative child than most. That does not mean he is more genius, he just makes what he understands more apparent to us because he can speak what he thinks. He didn't start speaking sentences early and that's a sign of good language development. He really is just a normal toddler, he just has the disease that I have where anything that comes into my head comes out my mouth! There is a very small barrier! haha! I'm serious! I also think that he is naturally more observant than other children and applies what he sees. But other children are smarter than him in other ways. I think that the thought that your child is smarter or more "genius" than the average child is a bunch of crap. Every kid is smart in their own way.

The only thing I think Nate has on other kids is cuteness! :D Just look at this sweet little face! :D:
But I'm his mommy so of course I think that!!! :D

Friday, April 16, 2010

I'm DEFINITELY one of THOSE moms!!!

I'm definitely one of those moms that thinks that nothing is as amazing as her child! In fact, it baffles me that not everyone could think that Nate is the cutest and best child in the world. But of course other people are mothers too and they probably think the same about their kids!

Recently the thought came to me to let Nate do most of the work in getting himself dressed. When you've raised them since you were a newborn, you just get used to dressing them and doing everything for them, you sometimes forget to stop and let them do it too. I'm going to have to say that it was the cutest thing I've ever seen! I just put the shirt over his head and let him pull it down, then I let him put his arms through (the first time I tugged a little to help the shirt go down), but today all I did was put the shirt on top of his head and he did the rest! It is just way too cute to see how excited he was about it! You could tell he felt like such a big boy! I even let him pull up his own pants! It's so cute! He can't quite get it over his butt though!

Something else I just absolutely LOVE and have loved for a long time is when I sing him a song and stop for him to finish the line. I love it because I always am delightfully surprised how close he pays attention. Last night I was singing this song from Yo Gabba Gabba that he honestly hasn't seen or heard THAT much. It's the happy birthday song by the Ting Tings (on my playlist above, it's number 6! or number 2 on the Yo Gabba Gabba playlist. I recommend listening to it! I love it so much!). When I would stop he'd finish and I was just dying! Especially because at one point when it says "would you like a present too?" I stopped at "present" and he said "too" really high! haha! He probably knows it because I sing it around the house sometimes.

Yeah he may be crazy sometimes and make a mess and have temper tantrums occasionally, but I still couldn't have asked for a cuter, sweeter, or funner child! I wanted a girl really bad and now I don't know why! I'd love to have a girl now that she has a big brother to look after her, but I'd be happy with another Natey!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tornado Nathan

I didn't think Utah was tornado country, but apparently it is. I don't know if you've heard on the news, but we've had a tornado hit every day for about 6 months. The aftermath is devastating and it is said to be the worst tornado in history because the damage is virtually impossible to clean up because it comes back before it can all be cleaned up. I was able to get a rare shot of the tornado here:

And here is a picture of the aftermath:

Pretty devastating!

I figure it's better to just laugh about it than sit there and cry and cry...and cry. Actually, I'll probably just cry anyway. I think if I could clean up the damage completely just ONCE that it would be a lot easier to deal with, but I'm too busy cleaning the living room and kitchen all day that I never get to the bedrooms and laundry. It is so incredibly frustrating! Living in an apartment is hard because it is so small the mess has no where to hide! What I would give for a play room where Nate actually stays. Instead he wants to follow me around all day and be with me so all the mess ends up in the living area. I think this is my biggest source of stress in the world! I just want a clean house and I feel like I can't ever have one!

PS. you see Nate in just a diaper a lot because when we're at home and haven't left the house yet, after the morning diaper change I usually just leave him undressed to salvage his outfit for when we do go out! Haha! It saves me quite a bit of laundry cause I was having to change his clothes twice a day! So if you were wondering...thats why! :D He's dressed right now if it's any consolation!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Other people's children fill me with fury!!

If you're at a playground, watch your children! It's as simple as that! If you child is being a jerk CORRECT HIM!!!!!

So Nate and I went on a mommy-son date to the mall to pick up my new phone (or in other words, my replacement phone for the one Nate ruined). So after we were finished, we went and got a smoothie, we went up and down the escalator a few times (he loved that), I pretty much just let him run around and I followed him. He loved it.

We walked to the dinosaur playground (at South Towne) to go play for a little while mommy tried to set up the new phone to her likings. This playground is pretty small and soft, perfect for toddlers (although not challenging enough for Nate. He likes to conquer the big-kid playgrounds...crazy kid!). Anyway, there was this one slide and a few kids were playing on it. I showed Nate the correct way to climb up and this kid was just sitting at the top. I kept telling Nate "wait your turn" and he was just sitting there staring at him. Nate started trying to hit him, but I held his hands and calmly told him not to hit and to wait his turn. Then the kid hit him back and I said "excuse me! Don't hit him!" in a very calm voice. I think his dad heard me a little cause he finally told his son to slide down. So then Nate went and I went and sat back down. Nate kept going back around and climbing up the proper way and this freaking kid just kept sitting at the top and his dad would say "hurry and slide down" and he'd just sit there and not do much. This happened like 5 or 6 times where this freaking kid was just sitting there. I think he was waiting for Nate's reaction. I was getting really annoyed that this dad wasn't encouraging him to play on something different because he obviously wasn't playing very fair and nice. Finally, Nate was climbing up the stairs again and this freaking kid was sitting there again and would not move and kept getting closer and closer to the stairs until Nate fell off! I was SO upset! I ran over to Nate grabbed him really quickly and stormed out. I was SO mad that that dad was just sitting there doing nothing. Even a DIFFERENT mom was more attentive to Nate than that stupid kid's dad. I feel like me not saying anything and just leaving was the best solution. Because if I would have said something rude to the dad he would have just gotten defensive and refused to see what a jerk his child was! I figured this way he would just feel bad and realize that maybe he should try harder at disciplining his child!

I know stuff like this happens a lot to children, but this was my first time experiencing this. After that first time of me helping Nate, he was so good to sit and wait for him to go. He didn't get mad or try hitting him at all. So I definitely do not feel like Nate deserved this. I seriously almost started crying! I love my Natey WAY too much to see him get hurt by someone else!

Moral of the story: Watch your freaking kids!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Nate's so awesome! :D

Have I mentioned that I just love my little Bubby SO much?? Cause I really do! :D I had to make this post so I could remember this forever!

Today he counted to ten in Spanish!!!!!! HOLY COW! It was SO crazy! One of my besterest friends Heather and her boyfriend Dan came over to my house today and he started performing and showing off like crazy it was hilarious (Dan, not Nate. Hahaha JK!)! Dan was tracing Nate's hand on the magna-doodle and he told him to count the fingers and I said, "you should hear him count in Spanish" cause it was usually very funny. He used to babble nonsense and you'd hear "ocho" in there and that was it, but not this time!!!! He started with dos and said them all until diez!!!!! I was ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY!!!!!! It's not like I had gone over it that extensively with him! I'd do it occasionally. I just cannot believe how fast he learns! So I will be speaking as much Spanish to him as I know! It is definitely incentive to REALLY learn the language well! I'd really love for Nate to become fluent in Spanish while he is young. This is the PRIME time to teach him a language! I just wish SOOOOO BAD that I knew it better! It really makes me want to take more classes. But I'd really almost prefer to take it somewhere other than at school. Because the homework is absolutely insane! I just want to learn the language, not get a grade! If anyone knows of some really good community Spanish classes, PLEASE let me know! I might try the Rosetta Stone, but I'm not sure how well it would work. Has anyone used it that can tell me if it's good or not? This is really really important to me! Maybe I'll teach Nate more sign language too just so he knows that as well. Gosh now I want to go learn every language so I can teach him! haha! Seriously though, it is NEVER a bad thing to know more than one language! I don't know why elementary schools don't require another language to be taught! Most countries teach more than one language. Boo for not having that opportunity!

Nick and/or Michelle Boyer...if you're reading this you need to come over ALL the time and speak Spanish to Nate!!! ALL the time ok?? OK! It's a deal! :D

Something else Nate just randomly did today was somersaults! I didn't teach him or anything, he just started doing them. I think he was just playing around and ended up doing it. He doesn't know what they're called so he doesn't do it when asked. I tried to catch it on video, but I got nothing! haha! It was pretty cute though!

Also, thank you for the support with my last post! Seriously, you have no idea how much that helps. It hard to ignore judgments when its coming from a family member. I don't want to say who in specific, but just know that it's really hard. I think the most important people that matter are Nate's grandparents. I think he has the best grandparents in the entire universe and they all want us to have as many kids as we feel comfortable with! The more the merrier right? :D All we really need is their support and if other people are going to be butt heads about it, then I'm not going to take it from you anymore. These are my babies you are talking about and although you claim to love them, it is not cool when you make us feel stupid for having them. And being annoyed with them (well, just him at this point). And many years down the road when you see that we're still happy with them, you will change your mind. Yes parenthood may be challenging at times, but let me tell you that the very very very best things in life are some of the most challenging things! My mom has a saying hung up in her living room that says something along the lines of "The best things in life call me Grandma!" I love that! I would have to say "The best things in life call me Mommy!" I should hang that up in my house! :D Nothing has been more fulfilling and fun than having a baby! Seriously, how freaking amazing is childhood? Well, when you have a kid, you get to relive all of your favorite moments in childhood, BUT on top of that you get to do the things for them that you wished were done for you! Like for me, I wanted to travel a lot, so I'm going to give that to my kids. I think that was a big part of why I wanted to marry Phil! Cause I knew we would have an awesome excuse to travel all the time! Haha!

ONE last thing that I have to say has been a HUGE happiness bringer! Last night Phil was having a really hard time with school and was just super stressed out about it and we were both getting really testy with each other and it finally blew up. Well we went on a REALLY long drive to just talk things out and the reason why he was having such a hard time with school is because he felt like he had no direction. He was kind of working towards being a teacher, but he didn't really know what kind of teacher he wanted to be and he wasn't really sure thats what he wanted to do. He just felt like he had no options that would bring him happiness and that he'd be stuck in a job that wouldn't bring him the fulfillment he really wanted! He ALWAYS talks about how envious he is of other religions because they get to make a living off of preaching the word of God. That's all he wants to do! Which always confused me because I was just like "why don't you be a seminary teacher?" I just kind of knew thats what he was going to end up being. But my parents gave him this impression a while ago that CES (church educational system) people are bad...mostly because they've had horrible experiences with a bunch of CES people. For example, my mom was almost engaged to her seminary teacher when she was in high school and he was a scum bag! haha! So they just had a bad opinion of them and Phil was too wrapped up in their opinion to think of it as an option and I was not aware of this. So he was just talking about how he wanted a job where he could help people every day and that was the only kind of job he could find fulfilling and I was just like "why don't you just be a seminary teacher?" and he said "well, they don't make very much" and I just said "SOOOO????" He was also worried that I would want him to be a billionaire! Haha! I could freaking CARE LESS!!!! Hahah! Anyway this is going on SOOO much longer than I had originally intended (surprise right??) So long story short is that Phil has finally put down his strange worries about being a Seminary teacher and finally realized that would be the ABSOLUTE best career for him (for SO many reasons!) And he would make the best one in the entire world! And he finally has a real goal to really work towards which will make going to school a lot easier for him. So HOORAY!!!!!!

I've had a lot on my mind lately....

If you can't tell by my billion blog posts recently! :D I've just had a lot of people and things testing the way I think about life and changing my perspectives. One thing a mother should never have to do is defend her children and wanting to have more kids.

Honestly, how do you explain to someone who never wants to have children why you do want to? I don't think I've ever found something so frustrating! I just have a big problem with closed minded people. Especially when they claim to be so open minded. Look, I understand if your idea of what makes life fulfilling doesn't involve children, but why do you have to judge me if my idea of what makes life fulfilling has everything to do with them?

My least favorite things about this situation is that whenever I'm around people that think like this I get SUPER SUPER stressed out every time Nate does something annoying or acts like, oh I don't know, a regular toddler!!! And I think it just makes the situation worse because Nate gets SO much worse especially when I get frustrated that he's acting up. And I swear he acts out more when I'm around people like this I don't know why! Then, to add to my frustration, they comment on how much they don't want kids every time Nate does something annoying. I feel like the whole time I have to defend Nate. It freaking sucks! Especially because Nate is the best child in the entire universe and if they would actually stop and pay attention they would realize how amazing he is!!!!!

I just really don't like having to defend wanting to be a parent! And I could never explain how amazing it is to be a parent because it is something you have to experience to really understand. I just wish people could stop being so judgmental! If you don't like our children or you think we're stupid for having them, then don't come around.

The moral of this story is respect. Show some respect for people with different beliefs and feelings than you. Being tolerant and accepting of other races and cultures also pertains to people here in America too. I know it may not seem like it, but there are different cultures in America and all should be respected equally as well. I completely understand not agreeing with someone on different issues whether they be political, religious, or social, but I also understand respect and I would appreciate some of that.

On a different note, tell me how you would feel if someone was disrespectful of you on your wedding day because you have different beliefs than them. I know some of you were married in the temple as well. Did any of you have relatives or friends that weren't able to attend because it was in the temple? How did those people act? Were they disrespectful of you? Can you imagine how hurtful it would be if someone wasn't supportive of you and your beliefs especially on your wedding day? And how would you feel if someone said rude comments because you were kissing too much? On your WEDDING DAY?? You know, that's just not something that is easy to forget.

If you want respect yourself, you need to give it in return.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Pregnancy blues

I was going to post this in the last post, but it's a completely separate thought and I didn't want to take away from the other one.

Anyway, I've been having kind of a hard time with this pregnancy. Nothing physical, and nothing is wrong with the baby (as far as I know), but that's just the problem. I feel like it is so unfair that I can have worry free pregnancies. I didn't even try with Nate, he was a surprise, and this one we got pregnant on the second try. Then I'm done with my first trimester and still no signs of a miscarriage. One of my best friends growing up that I've known since 7th grade was pregnant and due 3 days before me and she had a miscarriage last week. I was so incredibly bummed! And what am I supposed to say to comfort her? I'm sorry that I'm still pregnant?? It was her first pregnancy too! I keep hoping that she just bled and thought it was a miscarriage when in reality it was just some normal bleeding! But of course I don't dare ask her if tissue passed! Sure I had a miscarriage on my first pregnancy, but I don't even feel like that really counts. I didn't even know I was pregnant. It wasn't like I changed my life around to have my world come tumbling down.

Of course I am SO incredibly grateful that I can have children! That was my number one absolute HUGEST fear when I was growing up! I have this crazy aunt and I think a big part of it is that she never had kids to keep her level headed. I could go on about why she's crazy, but I won't. My biggest fear is that I would end up like her. I was so sure I'd never be able to get pregnant. So yes, I'm more grateful than you could ever understand that I can have kids! But my heart just aches for people that can't! I want to be a surrogate mom for everyone that can't have a baby! But I know that wouldn't work! And every time I talk about my pregnancy, please know that I have you sweet mothers in my mind and that I would never want to rub it in your face! I feel incredibly lucky and blessed that this was not my trial and I'm sure I'll have different ones to face, but I hope you know that I don't think that yours is any less difficult! If I could find the cure for infertility I would! And I think when I really start doing my doula business full time, I'm going to give a discount for anyone that has had issues with infertility and if you are someone close to me, or that I know personally, no charges at all whatsoever! Because I feel that if you have had to go through something that difficult, you deserve to be waited on hand and foot when your big day does come! Even if you want an epidural!

Well I can finally announce it!

I am officially a bishop's daughter! That is something I just never thought I'd say. I guess mostly because once you grow up and leave your parents, you just feel like they've grown up too and they are no longer growing, but they are. They still have things to learn and do in their life's just easy to forget that!

I'm so happy for my dad. Not because I think it's an enjoyable calling, because I'm sure it is going to be the hardest calling he's ever had, but because of the opportunities he is going to have to learn and feel the spirit!

I realized today as I was sitting there listening to his testimony that I am so eternally grateful to have a dad that can be such a great example to me and especially to my husband. My parent's are Phil's only spiritual parents. His mom is no longer LDS and his dad has never been. He relies on my parents a lot when it comes to the church. I mean if you think about it, some day when Phil becomes a high priest (if he does, it's not a necessary thing for your salvation or anything) then it will be my dad that ordains him. It's kind of sweet if you ask me. I'm just so grateful that he is worthy to be a bishop. He's always been worthy to and he's always been a good example! I'm sure there are many many men that are worthy to be a bishop, but are never called. I honestly never thought he would be. :D

I don't think pregnancy is very good for me because I bawled my eyes out! When he stood up as they called him Bishop Morgan the waterworks were uncontrollable! And then he went and sat up on the stand. It was just crazy.

So I'm really happy for my dad. I think this will be a great new adventure for him and though it may be challenging for him and my family at times, I know that the gates of heaven will be opened to my parents during this time and that they will receive blessings and inspiration and be able to inspire us. I'm excited to see my dad be in this position! I think it will do a lot for him!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Follow up to my last post!

I am SOOOOOOO incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of support I received from you all!!! THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! It really means a lot to me! I can use all of the positive energy I can get!

I only got one question to answer which was does insurance cover a home birth? NOPE! haha! The thing that is funny to me is that it costs $2000 to have a home birth, but at the hospital, it was closer to $10,000 if I didn't have insurance. Meaning that my insurance paid about $6,000-$7000!!! So why they won't cover a home birth is a good question....oh wait I have the answer. Because, and I'm not really sure how it works, but someone told me that the money ends up going back to them when you deliver at a hospital. So why would they encourage doing something so much less expensive? WHO KNOWS! :D haha! I think if they really want some suggestions on how to make health care cheaper, they should just talk to me!!!! Pretty much, there is some shady crap that goes on and it's pretty freaking lame that insurance companies pretty much run our health care system!

But all in all I'll be paying $1500 less for this birth even without insurance coverage, so whatever! :D

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

My plan revealed!

This is something that I have put off posting about until I got closer to quitting IMC because of negativity I may get from the nurses. I'm just warning you now that if your comments are negative or discouraging, I will not publish them. This is something that I am very excited about and feel very strongly towards as well so I wanted to be able to share this with my friends! I encourage you to read the entire post before making judgments. :D

I am going to have a home birth! Actually let me rephrase that. I am planning on having a home birth! I used to think that home birth was weird and for hippies and why would anyone want to have a baby at home cause it's dirty and gross?? It's very easy to have that point of view and never in my entire life did I think I was going to actually have a home birth, but the more I've learned, the more I realize that it is the best option for me! So I am going to break up my explanation of why into several parts and hopefully by the end of this, you will learn something new! Before I begin, I want to state that I understand when someone does something that is out of the norm, it is easy to feel like they judge people who don't choose that option. Kind of like with vegetarianism (wow you guys are really going to think I'm a hippie now huh! haha!!!), but I want you to understand that I had Nate at a hospital with an epidural and that it is not even possible for me to judge others because I would be a hypocrite! Many of you may not have known about some of the things I am going to post about and some things may make it easy to feel guilty and that's why it may make you want to debate me, but I want you to know if you did not know about some of these things, it is not your fault. It is the fault of your care providers that failed to mention the risks and benefits. I also want to state that Phil is completely on board! And that's why I love him so much!!!

Section 1: Why I am not worried about risking baby or I's safety:
  • First of all, if you worry about bad things happening, they will. Second of all, if you think nothing bad can ever happen to you, it will. I am not worried that anything will go wrong, and I am not worried if something does. I will have an emergency birth plan ready just in case. 
  • My parent's house (where I hope to deliver as long as my dad is cool with it....I haven't dared bring it up, but my mom is totally fine with it) is literally 5 minutes or less from a hospital and I have a doctor picked out in case of an emergency. 
  • I do not have any risks. The biggest...actually the ONLY complication I had with Nate's pregnancy other than the regular aches and pains was a gall bladder attack, but that's gone now so we're good. And so far my pregnancy has been fine. Very little morning sickness and it is easily cured by some food. 
  • I will not have any unnecessary  medical interventions such as being induced or having an epidural. Those alone will raise the risks for complications a LOT. I can't really give a percentage, but trust me, the risks are much much much higher if you have any unnecessary intervention. That is why I feel that home birth is actually safer than the hospital. 
  • My midwife brings pitocin and cytotec in case of an emergency hemorrhage and she brings oxygen for the baby as well. 
Section 2: What research says.
  • There is no research that proves that home birth is less safe than a hospital birth. However, I've seen plenty that proves just the opposite.
  • We are the only industrialized nation that hospitalizes birth as extensively as we do. Our C section rate is 20% higher than what the World Health Organization recommends a country's should be. Most of the world delivers at naturally at home and other industrialized nations deliver at home or a birth center. However, having a higher medicalization of birth does not mean lower infant or maternal mortality rate. In fact, we have the highEST of both of the industrialized world. If you don't believe me, I'll send you the link to the census bureau's website.
  • We only birth in hospitals because of our society. In the early 1900's doctors realized they could make a lot of money off of birth being in a hospital, so they made it seem more glamorous to deliver in a hospital and because the upper class did it, everyone else had to follow. It got to the point where people didn't even know there were other options. 
  • In my own personal opinion and observations, if we had started out with universal healthcare, maternity care would never be a business for money to be made. If you think about it, the way our system is set up, doctors can make a lot more money for several reasons: by having all of their patients in one place they can have several patients at once and take more; every time a procedure is used, the patient gets billed for it and the doctor makes more money; doctors can induce their patients when it is convenient for them and therefore the money does not have to go to someone else. I understand that there are good things and bad things about universal healthcare and I'm not here to argue it, I'm simply stating that this would be one benefit if we had started out that way.
  • The epidural. While we're on the money topic, if no one got an epidural, anesthesiologists would be out of a job, the nurses jobs would be harder, and the doctor would have less control. Why would any of them encourage you to not get one? So instead of telling you all of the risks and reasons not to get one, they just tell you that there's nothing wrong with getting one. However, research has proven several things. When you get an epidural, your brain no longer thinks you are in labor so it no longer needs to produce the three most amazing hormones your body can produce: endorphins, serotonin, and oxytosin. I remember learning in my human development class that humans do not bond with their parents the way animals do. That never seemed right to me, and when I learned that those hormones aid in bonding, it all made sense why we would think that. The thing is, if you get an epidural, you can still bond with your child, but it takes a lot longer than it does if you don't have one. It was explained like this: bonding is like glue between mother and baby. If the process is interrupted by an epidural, the glue dries out a little and it takes longer to get the bond as strong as it could have been in the first place.
Section 3:  Why I'm excited!
  • I have a friend that I was friends with in middle school named Whitney and we slowly lost touch. I found her on facebook (gotta love that thing!) and I found out she was going to be a midwife. I already was leaning towards the natural side of birth when I found that out, but was still kind of iffy on the whole home birth thing. Then, last semester for my English class, we had to choose one controversial topic for the whole semester that we had to use to write different styles of paper with. So I chose home birth vs. hospital birth. I went into it pretty neutral, but I  came out of it leaning completely towards home birth. Also, taking my doula class taught me a ton! So anyway, when we decided to get pregnant I knew right away that I wanted a home birth and that I wanted her to be an apprentice at my birth (she is in school for midwifery currently). Well I got together with her after I found out I was pregnant and it felt like we had never lost touch. It was awesome! It turns out that for school she has to be a primary midwife for a certain number of moms to certify! So she is going to be mine! I'm SOOOO excited! She is seriously one of the most amazing people I've ever known! She wants to dedicate her life to helping women do what is best for them! I feel so blessed to know her and even more privileged to have her be my midwife at my birth!
  • I get to have two midwives there, and my friend that is a doula from my class! Plus my amazing husband and maybe my mom (she's going on vacation and will be back the 10th and I told her I'm not waiting for her again and have my kid miss out on a cool birthday! Last time I didn't want her to miss her first grandchild's baptism so Nate missed having the birthday 6/7/08 by a day! Oddly enough he would have been 11 days early for that birthday and the 10th will be 11 days for this one! haha!). So I will have lots and lots of amazing support! 
  • I get to do whatever I want and not be judged! I could wait a week to give the baby a bath if I wanted to and it wouldn't matter! Actually what I want to do is give my baby his/her first bath! I can actually sit in the tub with him/her and hold him/her skin to skin while I do it so it's not as scary for him/her! Gosh I can't wait till I can say him or her! haha! It's just great because I don't HAVE to write a birth plan to get my way! 
  • I get to have a waterbirth! Woohoooo!!! And I get to labor in my parent's jetted tub! But I don't want to birth in it because I've heard stuff can get sucked into the jets....gross!!!!
  • My baby doesn't have to be separated from me at all! 
Some closing statements:
  • I know there are risks. I know what they are and I know what will happen with each case. However, I fully and completely believe that if something will go wrong during the home birth, call it mother's intuition, or whatever else you believe, but I know God will give me a feeling to let me know I need to reconsider. However, I have complete and total faith in both of my midwives! One has been doing it for a long time and knows what she is doing and Whitney is amazing and extremely knowledgeable! I'm not worried!
  • I know home birth is not for everyone. If you do not agree, that is fine and that is your decision to make. However, I have made mine, and I did not tell you it to argue the safety of home birth vs. the hospital. And if anyone tries to start a debate, I'm not going to fight you. And I'm not going to post your comments. I don't need negativity because that only brings bad things. Positivity brings good things! So if you want me to fail, then throw tons of negativity my way and I will happily ignore it! But if you want me to succeed then give me encouragement! 
  • I'm sure I will think of lots more to add to this post and I'm sure I will make more posts about it in the future. Please please please ask any constructive questions and I will make a whole post answering them (if there are enough). 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Happy one year anniversary!!

Of being Vegetarian! Yep. It's been a year to the day. (well yesterday, I started this and Uncle James showed up sooner than expected :D).
It hasn't been the easiest year when it comes to that because of how many people judge me on being vegetarian. Kind of lame if you ask me. I get judged for being on a diet completely based on the fact that you think I'm judging you. Not cool. But I don't really care what people think. In many situations I just don't bring it up unless I have to. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, I just really don't like people to think I'm judging them!
It hasn't really been hard not to eat meat. Only when I'm really hungry, or when I go to dinner at someone's house and they don't give a crap that we're vegetarian so all we have to eat is mashed potatoes and salad. But for the most part, people are fairly supportive. Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas are rough just because meat is such a big part of it, people can't understand why we won't make an exception.
Over-all I'd have to say that I find more reasons to continue to stay vegetarian than not. A lot of people ask me why I'm vegetarian, so I think I will just give the top five reasons in no particular order:

1. Less toxins. I don't really ever worry about getting food poisoning. I feel less sluggish, and I worry less about contracting a diet related disease such as diabetes or heart disease.
2. Less fattening. I don't go out to fast food near as often and I don't worry about becoming obese. If I could just cut my sugar addiction, I'd be set!
3. Better for the environment. No matter how you feel about environmentalists, the fact of the matter is that God created this earth and I want to show my appreciation for it. There is a quote from one of my least favorite people Bill Maher, but still a good quote, "It is better to eat a salad in a Hummer than to eat a cheeseburger in a Prius". True fact.
4. Reverence for life. I guess I would be lying if I didn't care that I was taking a life just for my own pleasure. I don't need meat to survive.
5. The word of wisdom. This is where I really don't want people to think I'm judging them!! But since I'm being honest about why I am vegetarian, I have to mention this. The word of wisdom states that we should eat meat only in times of winter or famine, but we have vegetarian food readily available to us throughout the winter unlike it was at the time that the word of wisdom was written so there's no point of us eating meat in the winter. We would eat it if we were starving and needed it to survive.

So there you have it. I'm sure I will think of a hundred other reasons why, but those are the main ones.

And to celebrate my one year anniversary I ate something with Beef extract in it! Hooray! ...NOT! Stupid freaking ramen! So the Top Ramen brand has a flavor called Oriental and it is vegetarian (vegan actually), but Maruchans Oriental flavor has beef extract in it. We didnt know it and Phil bought a whole bunch of the wrong kind and I decided to just double check the ingredients and beef extract was on there. This was AFTER I had eaten it :( I felt really bad because Phil was being so nice to get me some last night (yeah its definitely not the most healthy thing I can eat, but it cures my morning sickness!) And it ended up being the wrong kind. I checked both of the brands websites and found out that Top Ramens really is vegetarian. So that was kind of sad. I felt really gross afterwards and I think it might have been in my head, but it definitely makes me not want to eat meat even more!

Anyway happy one year anniversary! I dont plan on going back any time soon! :D

Friday, April 2, 2010

Easter Bunny...

Ok I feel like I've been posting too much lately and I'm sorry, but I have something else that I have to talk about that has been bugging me. The Easter Bunny. It just doesn't make any sense at all. Have you ever stopped to actually think about what the Easter Bunny is?? I mean Santa Claus at least makes a little sense. He represents selfless service and teaches an amazing lesson of charity and love. As a child I always understood the importance of Christ's birth and I thoroughly understood the entire story. But what is this Easter Bunny crap all about?

First of all, I of course absolutely do NOT judge anyone who celebrates using the Easter Bunny. It's not about me thinking that the people that use it are stupid, it is me thinking that the concept itself is stupid in my eyes. It's kind of one of those things that you just go along with because if you don't then your kid will tell one of his friends that it's not real and you'll have angry parents calling you. But really, lets evaluate what the Easter Bunny really is.

Growing up do you think I really understood the importance of the resurrection and the atonement? I didn't even know what the passover was and why it was practiced, why it ended, etc. I was too distracted from this wonderful opportunity to learn about this concept by these festivities that had nothing to do with Christ. I don't blame my parents. They're the best parents in the entire world!! I blame society! But that's beside the point. Where does the Easter Bunny even come from??? Why do we even celebrate it? Oh because of some weird pagan fertility holiday. Great. I just think it is the weirdest trick to distract us from the Savior and why we still buy into it is very confusing to me. Obviously if you don't have a religion or you have one that does not believe in Christ then go right ahead!

So here is my dilemma. I don't want to lie to my children about the Easter Bunny. It's stupid! I want them to learn about Christ and the atonement! The resurrection and the sacrifices He makes for us! And I don't want to be judged for not wanting to do the Easter Bunny! I'll give them gifts and we'll participate in the festivities that my family has, but I really don't want to make a big deal about it. I don't want to tell my children that some bizarro over-sized bunny hopped into our house to fill up some baskets. I feel like I'm the only person in the world that feels like this. I'm just really starting to question all of these weird traditions we all participate in! I mean some of them are just plain fun and awesome and I still want to celebrate all of the holidays, but I just don't want to get judged if I celebrate them differently. Like Thanksgiving for example. I've always thought it was a pointless holiday. We're giving thanks by eating... So now that we're vegetarian and don't care about the turkey, what we'd really like to do is go on a mission trip every thanksgiving like one of our friends from college does. She goes to Mexico and paints houses (I don't know about every single thanksgiving, but I know for sure she did it once). I'd love to do that! That's what Thanksgiving should be!

I don't know, call me strange, that's ok.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My least favorite "holiday"

Yeah I would have to say that April Fools is the worst "holiday" ever invented! I just hated being tricked so much when I was little (I have a lot of trust in people) that I cannot stand to trick other people. I do not get kicks and giggles by making other people feel stupid and I hate feeling stupid. So I think that this holiday was invented by the devil and I cannot comprehend how people get joy out of making other people feel the name of fun? In the name of evil more like! Yeah I seriously hate it.

*before you read this, I have to note, I wrote this in a joking tone!!!*
Was I tricked this year? Nope. That's not why I'm bitter. However, when I was 11 or 12 I was tricked pretty bad and it made this holiday even worse and more awful. You see, my sister and her now husband were dating and they knew how bad I wanted them to get married. Chase (my brother-in-law) told me early on in the day that he was going to ask Shauna to marry him and wanted ideas. Of COURSE I didn't believe him! I was like...yeah right, you're going to "ask" her on April Fools day? uh huh....and he gave me this spiel about how he wanted it to be memorable. I did not believe him ALL day. So later that day they came over and she had a REAL ring on. I flipped out, I couldn't believe it! I didn't think it was really going to happen, but when I saw that she was wearing a real wedding ring, of course I thought it was real. I was jumping up and down and freaking out! I was SO excited! I could not imagine that this could really be a joke because how horrible of a thing to joke about. It's one thing to just "say" that you're going to do something as a joke, but to actually go through all of the measures to have a ring and really act it out, that could not be real. Of course after my dad saw me freaking out with excitement (remember, I was 12!) he was like "Shauna seriously?" And then I found out it was a joke and I started crying! How completely AWFUL of a person do you have to be to do that to someone? Especially someone as vulnerable as a 12 year old GIRL??? Come on! And they will still laugh about it now, but I just think you guys are EVIL! So even though they were the most awful people in the universe in that moment and they totally deserve the worst trick in the entire universe and I vowed to get them back someday, I still can't do it. Because I'm not EVIL! So I'll just pray every year that someone else plays a terrible joke on them and that they die a little inside because of it!

Obviously I don't think my sister is evil! She is my favorite sister in the world and she has done plenty to make up for it since then! And I can't get her back because I love her too much! Plus it would probably some how back fire on me and trick her adorable daughter! I posted this to make you laugh at how dumb I was to fall for it!!!!