Sunday, October 31, 2010

I've been thinking a lot about Audrey's birth. Obviously since it was not very long ago, it only makes sense. I just can't believe that I actually went natural. It is truly indescribable how I feel. There was just such a huge part of me that never thought I'd end up going through with it that I'm amazed that I have. There was a fear in the back of my mind that I'd end up going to the hospital and asking for an epidural. It was a pretty irrational fear, but after wanting to go natural with Nate and giving up, I just felt like I'd always do that.

The reason I'm saying this is because I want you to know how hard it is to be such an advocate for something you haven't even experienced yourself. I just never felt very confident about talking to people about natural birth because I was afraid they wouldn't take me seriously. That's not an easy thing for me to deal with in my head. Because I felt so strongly about natural birth I really feared I'd always fail.

I'm truly amazed at how empowering it can be to give birth naturally. To me, it was about more than just the hormones and bonding, it's about how amazing it feels to accomplish something you've always felt would be the hardest thing you'd ever do. Giving birth naturally was kind of my Mount Everest. I feel like now that I've accomplished that I truly can accomplish anything. And I have more faith in my doula clients. I feel like if I can do it they definitely can! I am nothing special. I don't have super powers! I hate pain JUST as much as anyone else does! I am afraid of pain just as much as everyone else is. And I have also figured out that childbirth pain is NOT the most painful thing you can experience! When I broke my leg at age 9, that was by far the very most painful thing I've ever been through.

I've come across many people who have had children both naturally and medically and I've heard them say they'd prefer one over the other. So now that I'm one of those people, I by far prefer natural birth over the epidural. However, I also want to say that I remember my contractions with Nate to be more painful and it was because of the way I was coping with them. If you know what you are doing, going natural is easy. By the'll think you don't know what you're doing until you actually get to that day and you realize that you know more than you thought because even as a doula and someone who studied it extensively, I still worried that I didn't know what I was doing!

Anyway, that has just been on my mind a lot lately. I still just can't believe I actually did it! It makes me so happy! If you ever feel bad about yourself, or have a bad self esteem, just give birth naturally and you'll realize you can do anything! :D

Friday, October 29, 2010

Sweet Pictures! :D

I love our new camera! I can actually fill my posts with pictures now! woohoooooooo!!!!!

Sweet little fuzz head (this is what happens when I wash her hair!)

Cute little headband my mom made her!

 Phil likes our new camera. 

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Audrey's Birth Story through pictures :D

  YAY I'm so glad I got the pictures from Audrey's birth! Of course these are the appropriate ones only! :D                                                             

Trying to get through a contraction sitting was not successful. 
Actually, it may have been the end of one after the worst part was over. 

Right after she was born, I was still at the edge of the bed. 

 Proud daddy, he was so excited!

 Nate, Granny, and Grandpa taking a look at the newest family member! 

AAH happy she's out! 

 Nate's first up close look at his new baby sister. It was nice being able to have him see her right after she was born! 

Whitney and Suzanne, she must have been recapping the whole pushing out of nowhere thing! :D 

 Grandma holding her granddaughter for the first time! 

First baby assessment, getting all of the measurements :D

Daddy weighing his daughter

 Aunt Shauna had to get in on the action too! 

Whitney and Audrey. She did such an amazing job considering it was her first unassisted birth! Not that it was planned that way, but I think it worked out great! 

New family!

Suzanne on the left (the licensed midwife) and Whitney on the right (my primary care midwife who is going through school)

Now that is just plain adorable!



I've just been feeling so overwhelmingly grateful the past week! I feel so blessed to have the beautiful family I do! It makes me not understand how anyone could not want children!

I have to admit, the days leading up to Audrey's birth I was REALLY nervous! I was not sure I was ready to have two children! Obviously there was nothing I could do about it at that point! Haha! But I think it's definitely something I've been nervous about for the past nine months! I've been pleasantly surprised at how easy and wonderful it has been! Well...easier than I thought. It does take me twice as long to get out the door now! And I think the fact that Nate is not afraid of being out of my sight in a public place is not the easiest thing (in other words, I can't trust that he won't run away! I think he trusts that I will chase after him...what else am I supposed to do? Let him run away?? Haha! Yesterday I set him down for a second and he ran over and almost started eating an apple at the grocery store!), but I'm slowly learning my limits. I do like that Nate doesn't care that I hold her all day. I give him attention too and try to give him lots of hugs and kisses, but it's nice that he's not jealous. And he is starting to be a little more reactive to her. For example he started saying "oh no baby rooster crying!" and when she's nursing he'll say "baby rooster eat the booboos" Hahha! So even though it has it's challenges, overall being a mother of two is awesome! Especially with a sweet baby like Audrey who never cries, only when she's really hungry. Even in the middle of the night she only fusses when she's hungry and doesn't full on cry. I hope it lasts like this! She's so easy! I wish she could stay a newborn forever!

Anyway, this is what I'm so grateful for! I love my sweet family!!! I should be in this picture too, but I was taking it! It was too sweet not to capture!

Look at that proud daddy! He loves his kids so much!
Phil thought she'd like to snuggle with Muno....they're almost the same size!

Also, today Audrey met her great grandparents on my side. Here is Great Grandma Hadley
Great Grandpa Hadley (and my mom)
And Great Grandma Morgan!

Audrey's Story

Audrey was telling stories with her facial expressions the other night. I tried to interpret what she was talking about and I'm pretty sure it was about her big brother. So this is what I think she was saying: 
"My big brother is so crazy! He's always screaming...and then he says "don't screaming" which doesn't make any sense. Why would he scream and then say don't scream. He's a funny dude." 

"Hey big brother, give me a kiss!" 

"Oh big brother, you're so silly!" 

"Oh no, he's at it again!" 

"ooh those drawings are so good! I hope you'll teach me to draw as good as you some day!" 

"Silly brother! It's bana-NA not bana! I still love you!" 

"You are so funny when you dance! I can't wait to take dance class so I can dance as good as you do!" 

"I love you big brother!" 

"I hope I can be as cool as you one day....but I won't be half as crazy!" 

"Pay attention to me big brother!"

"Big brother, you're the best!!"